Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
