i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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