I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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