Barsexuality is the new black.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
