I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
