Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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