I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
