One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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