Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize