plz talk dirty to me
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just want nice things and good sex
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
