What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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