All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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