I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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