then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
