Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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