these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
