He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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