she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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