Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
