i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
