i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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