FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
