This is not my ceiling
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize