I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
