So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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