this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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