Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
