Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
