These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
