Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
