I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
