so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Someone came in the potted fern
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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