He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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