Already got asked if we're dating
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
