I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
