Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
