This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize