if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
