I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
