need another drink. this is the easiest way
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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