ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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