Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
