I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
