I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
