Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
