I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
