Barsexuality is the new black.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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