Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
