I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
