The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize