I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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