My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
