I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
