i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
