This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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