This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
they need to just BURY HIM!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
