Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
